MERCY (RUTHLESS HELLHOUNDS MC (A RUTHLESS UNDERWORLD NOVEL) Book 1) Read online

  COPYRIGHT © 2021 MERCY BY KL SAVAGE

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted by U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior permission of the author. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, or organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. MERCY is intended for 18+ older, and for mature audiences only.

  PHOTOGRAPHY BY WANDER AGUIAR PHOTOGRAPHY

  COVER MODEL: WANDER AGUIAR

  COVER DESIGN: LORI JACKSON DESIGN

  EDITING BY: INFINITE WELL

  FORMATTING: CHAMPAGNE BOOK DESIGN

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Reading Order

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Epilogue

  Mercy's Playlist

  Acknowledgements

  Also by K.L. Savage

  READING ORDER

  Reaper’s Rise (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #0.5)

  Reaper (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #1)

  Boomer (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #2)

  Tool (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #3)

  Poodle (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #4)

  Skirt (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #5)

  Pirate (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #6)

  A Ruthless Halloween (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #6.5)

  Doc (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #7)

  Tongue (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #8)

  A Ruthless Christmas (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #9)

  Knives (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #10)

  Lunatic (Ruthless Kings: Asylum Series, Bk #1)

  Boomer’s Rise (Ruthless Kings: Atlantic City Series, Bk #1)

  Tongue’s Target (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #11)

  Thrasher (Royal Bastards Series, Bk #1)

  Mateo (Moretti Syndicate Series, Bk #1)

  Kansas (Ruthless Kings: Atlantic City Series, Bk #2)

  Chaotic (Ruthless Kings: Asylum Series, Bk #2)

  Mercy (Ruthless Hellhounds Series, Bk #1)

  Bullseye (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #12)

  Orbiting Mars (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #13)

  Slingshot (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #14)

  Cowboy (Ruthless Kings: Baton Rouge Series, Bk #1)

  Whistler (Ruthless Hellhounds Series, Bk #2)

  Tongue’s Taste (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #15)

  Badge (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #16)

  One Eye (Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #17)

  Succession (Ruthless Kings: Grapevine Texas, Bk #1)

  Savage (Ruthless Kings: Grapevine Texas, Bk #2)

  Country (Ruthless Kings: Grapevine Texas, Bk #3)

  Raven (Royal Bastards Series, Bk #2)

  Tank ((Ruthless Kings: Las Vegas Series, Bk #18)

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST, MOST AMAZING FRIEND AND PHOTOGRAPHER! (Woo, Celebrate!) How does it feel to be 21, again? We want to dedicate this book to you, Wander. Like we always say, you’re the best and we wouldn’t be where we are without you. Your brilliant talent of capturing the perfect image makes our books become what they are.

  Also, we want to dedicate our character Andrey Machado, to Andrey, your better half (tehehe). You guys give us so much inspiration and we love you for it. Your kindness and friendship will always be appreciated here. We love you big time.

  While in New Orleans to bring Daphne home.

  No one could possibly know the pain I’m experiencing right now.

  “She still doesn’t remember our conversation? She doesn’t remember me saying that I’m her father? But I’m the reason she’s here. I’m the reason she shut down and forgot everything,” I say to Tongue on the phone as I watch him walk into the hospital by a large sycamore tree. He thinks I’m at the Ruthless Kings NOLA clubhouse.

  As if I’d just sit back and let him protect my little girl alone.

  My daughter.

  God, just the thought has my heart aching and tears brimming in my eyes. I’ve missed so many years, so much time, so many memories. I will never have a chance to get them back. I thought I had finally broken the ice with Daphne. I knew she’d be mad at me, but now this? Now I have to start all over again?

  How the hell am I going to manage that kind of pain? I can’t relive that.

  I’m going to have to.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry, Mercy. Her psychosis won’t allow her. She doesn’t even remember me,” he replies. “I’m lucky because she remembers how she feels about me, but that’s it.”

  “That’s more than I have. She hates me.” The only child I will ever have fucking hates me. If she sees me again, I’m sure that hate would hit full force all over again.

  “She doesn’t know you, Mercy. She’s mad for a ton of reasons. You are going to have to give her time.”

  “I know that,” I mumble, kicking the tire of the Harley Davidson I borrowed. “I’ve lost so much time already. Selfishly, I don’t want to lose more.”

  “I get it. I’m sorry. I need to call Reaper, okay? I’ll see you later.”

  Tongue is quick with goodbyes. I don’t even have time to say it back before the dial tone beeps like a low horn in my ear. I exhale deeply, letting every bit of air I have in my lungs out. I’ve done dangerous things in my life, but none of them can compare to how hard this is.

  I never wanted to be an absent father. If only I had known she was mine, I would have wanted to be in Daphne’s life. I feel betrayed by Michelle because I don’t understand her reasonings for keeping my daughter away from me. She never seemed like the type of woman who would lie, especially to me. I know we had something special, something different from what a lot of other people had. What others only dream of having.

  That was our love.

  But I bet there is one person who knows the truth.

  Tina.

  Michelle’s sister. She’s currently in the hospital Tongue walked into because of Daphne’s father. At least, who she thinks is her father. The absolute garbage human being who raised my flesh and blood as his own. Tina had to have known, and I want to know why I was left in the dark.

  I take a step from behind the tree, not giving a damn that Tongue just went inside the hospital—probably to see Tina. Well, I deserve some goddamn answers, and I don’t give a fuck what he has to say about it.

  With a pissed off determination, I tuck my phone in my lea
ther coat pocket and follow the cracks in the sidewalk toward the entrance of the hospital. My mind won’t stop thinking. It’s clouded with confusion, anger, sadness, and want; but no hope. Whatever hope I once had died inside me a long fucking time ago, so it’s no surprise that I don’t feel it.

  I’m so lost in my own thoughts, too focused on what my life could have been like. I’m thinking of Michelle in the kitchen, or coming home from work, I would have supported whatever she would have wanted. I’d be there helping Daphne with her homework at the kitchen table. My dream is very suburban, very unrealistic, but I love it.

  I want it.

  Well, I would have wanted it.

  I smile to myself when I imagine Daphne laughing, and I’m so lost in hearing the sound, I collide with someone else on the sidewalk. She drops her purse, and I quickly bend down to get it. “I’m so sorry, Ma’am. I was lost in thought—” I lift my eyes to the woman I nearly ran over with my body and hold my breath when I see who it is. “—Daphne,” I whisper.

  “I’m sorry, do I know you?” she asks, lifting her brow at me, but it’s just the tip of the end of her brow that moves.

  Just like her mom when she questioned me.

  “Yes, I mean, no. Kind of.” Yeah, this is going really well so far.

  “Oh. Okay. Well, I hope you have a good day, I need to go.” Her blue eyes are big behind her glasses as she stares at me, and my tongue gets tied.

  She looks so much like her mom.

  “What did you just say?” her lips part in shock.

  “I didn’t say anything,” I swallow, wondering if I said she looked like her mom out loud.

  “You said I looked like my mom. How do you know her? Who are you?”

  “I’m… I’m…” I don’t know how to say the words. I run my fingers through my hair and the longer she looks at me, the more I hope she notices on her own. “I’m your Dad. Your real one. Not that piece shit who probably put that bruise on your face, am I right?” I hate to spew truth like this… again. I don’t know another way around it.

  She rears back as if I slapped her. Her rich chocolate brown hair sways over her shoulders as the wind blows. Her gaze breaks mine as she looks away, like she’s processing the information I told her. “I—no—you—” she shakes her head, unable to find the words. “Why does this feel familiar? I don’t even know you. And why are you coming back around after all this time? Uh? Who are you? Did you beat Aunt Tina? Who the hell do you think you are coming up to me in a damn parking lot…” Her hands go to either side of her head and they ball into tight fists as she whispers, “He isn’t real. He isn’t real,” to herself. “None of this can be real.”

  A sob almost leaves me, but I catch it just in time. I hate that she has an affliction inside herself. If only I could have been there, if only I could have helped her, maybe… I don’t know… maybe things would have been different for her.

  “I’m real, sweetie. I’m right here. I would love to sit down and explain myself. I never abandoned—”

  She lifts her hand up to silence me, and I zip my mouth shut as fast as possible. Her chin quivers and the tip of her nose turns red as she becomes emotional. Michelle got that way too. God, so much like her mother, but I can’t help but wonder if she is anything like me. I hope so. I want the chance to know. A tear rolls down her cheek and she places her hand across her chest where her heart is, as if it hurts, and shakes her head. “No. You don’t get to come here and interrupt my life again. I have so much going on. I can’t deal with this or you right now,” she begins to cry, breaking as the emotions and truth hidden deep inside her try to break free from the lockbox in her head.

  They don’t. They leave her suffering with the unknown and it kills me. Seeing her like this hurts more than being shot at.

  This relationship between us is a war, and I’m willing to fight for it until it kills me.

  “You need to leave. I don’t want to talk to you right now. I need to go see Aunt Tina.”

  “I know your Aunt. I hope she’s okay,” I add, doing my best to stay composed as her rejection eats away at me like lye, slowly degrading me to dust.

  “I don’t know if I’ll ever want to talk to you. I’m not ready. I don’t know when I’ll be ready. Please, leave me alone and go home. Just… please.” She crosses her arms over her chest and turns around, leaving me behind in her angry wake.

  “Please—” I take a step forward to follow her “—Daphne. I’ll do anything. Please. I only want—”

  “I know what you want. Everyone wants something from me. I need time. I’m broken. If I want to talk to you, I’ll find you, okay? I’ll talk to you then, but until that time comes, respect my space. I’m learning all over again, and I can only handle so much.”

  “You really want me to leave? To leave you alone? I live in Vegas. What if it takes a long time for you to come to me?”

  “Then that’s the time I need to remember who I am, who you are, and if I want you in my life. I don’t know you.”

  “Your mother knew me,” I say with a bit of a bite.

  “And look where that left her,” Daphne cries, stomping forward and stabbing me in the chest with her finger. “She’s six-feet under. She’s dead. She’s all I had. I don’t know you. I don’t trust you. I sure as hell am not putting my faith in a stranger whose name I don’t even know when I don’t even have faith in myself. Goodbye…”

  “Mercy,” I choke, the simple word broken in half as I hold my emotions together.

  My daughter hates me.

  Hell, maybe I deserve it.

  I should have tried harder. I should have tried to talk to Michelle.

  Should have.

  Would have.

  Could have.

  Can’t change the past, no matter how hard I want to.

  “Mercy. I’m sorry, but I just… I can’t.” A tear flows down her cheek and she looks down at her feet, crossing her arms under her chest. “I need to go. I’m sorry. Please, don’t contact me. I’ll contact you when I’m ready.”

  I lift my hand and brush my thumb over her cheek to wipe her tear away. She gasps and takes a step back, telling me she doesn’t want my touch.

  I don’t know why I did it. It came naturally to me. Knowing I’m her dad, all I want is for her not to hurt. I want to take away her pain. I want to fix it.

  I can’t this time, because it’s me that’s the problem.

  We stare at each other one last time, the heartbreak written on her face matching my own agony inside. Her face will forever be embedded in my memory.

  “I’ll see you around, Daphne,” I manage to speak after a few moments of awkward silence.

  She gives me a slow chin nod and backs away from me. When she’s far enough, she spins on her heel and gives me her back to walk away from me.

  “Bye,” I whisper to myself, wishing I would have handled that situation better. I played it a hundred times in my head, and while every time was disastrous, this was worse. I don’t know how to talk to her. I don’t know what to say.

  I just don’t fucking know anything anymore.

  Maybe my chance with her is ruined. Maybe I never had a chance at all. I had never been there for her once in twenty-five years. What gives me the right now? She’s so used to living without me that there is no doubt she can go another twenty-five years without seeing or speaking to me.

  But I don’t think I could, now that I know she exists.

  I’ll respect her space.

  For now.

  I’ll be damned if I won’t be a part of my daughter’s life. A life Michelle took from me. A life her rotten, no-good husband took from me.

  He took two lives from me. Two!

  I’m going to fucking kill him. He ruined my life. And I’m not sure what I’ll have to do, but I’ll ruin his too. I take a step away and realize where I need to go. I nearly run into someone else as I turn around sharply.

  Someone in a wheelchair.

  Fuck me. I’m on a damn roll today, are
n’t I? Imagine me pushing a wheelchair over. God bless America, I’m a damn wreck waiting to happen.

  “I’m sorry. I should have been more careful,” I say to the young man, a man who can’t be that much older than I was when I joined the Navy.

  “It’s okay. Have a good day,” he says, wheeling away from me quickly. That’s when I notice the United States Army baseball cap he is wearing, since he has it turned around backward. The Army star is staring at me in the face, and I suddenly get an inkling as to why he is in the wheelchair to begin with.

  I swing my leg over the bike and pull out my phone from my cut pocket. A cut that’s empty and only says Mercy on the left side, because I don’t know where the hell I belong. Hellhounds were a big part of my life, even if it was an undercover job. Living that life became a part of me, but I can’t be a Hellhound now, not after everything they did.

  Whistler has asked me to join Demon’s Fury, but I don’t know. I’d want to run things, and right now he is acting Prez. I’m not too sure if I could take his orders. He’s a young buck and has a ton of living to do.

  I’ve lived.

  I’ve experienced.

  I’ve sacrificed.

  And I’ve paid my fucking dues.

  I’ll figure out my place. I always do.

  “Snake, can you do me a favor?” I ask when he picks up the phone, not even giving him time to greet me.

  “What’s up?”

  “I need the address to Daphne’s…” I growl low in my throat to stop myself from saying the word father. “You know, where she lives?”

  “Ask Tongue,” he says. “He goes there all the time.” I hear a nasty slurp of something on the other end of the phone that has me pulling the phone away from my ear.